


Want vs Need

by the_witching_hours



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 19:07:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11698023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_witching_hours/pseuds/the_witching_hours
Summary: Reader is a vital part of the Avengers, but just how vital leaves her feeling drained, and unhappy.





	Want vs Need

**Author's Note:**

> I used Slovak in place of Sokovian in this fic, and I used Google Translate (so it's probably messed up)

“I’m just a little tired, that’s all, I’ll be back a little later.” You plastered a fake smile on your face as you backed out of the common room. Nat and Steve looked like they didn’t believe you, but they let you go. Sam on the other hand…

“C’mon Y/N! You say that every time. I need your help or I’ll never win!”

“It’s  _ Smash Bros. _ Sam, not the end of the world.” Even at video games, Sam couldn’t beat Steve. Which seemed unfair given that Sam had such an advantage, so you usually took pity on him. But not today.

Sam pouted, but you left, escaping to your room and locking the door.

When the Avengers had gotten back together after their giant fight over the Accords, Tony and Steve had decided that they needed a new player; someone who had no part in the fight, who had no preconceived notions about the team’s decisions. Thor and Dr. Banner were still off earth, so Tony had gone searching for a new Avenger; he’d found you.

Your powers, teleportation and electrical manipulation, made you an asset on missions. But it was your personality that  _ really _ helped the team. You were a natural counselor, at least that’s what Sam had said. You listened to the team, genuinely cared about each and every member, and helped them to repair their broken relationships. Hell, you’d even gotten Bucky and Tony on speaking terms, although you claimed no credit for it. It was nice to feel helpful, to feel useful.

What wasn’t so great was the exhausted feeling you were dragging around with you like a stubborn puppy learning how to use a leash. You were so tired _ all the time _ , but you didn’t want to miss anything important. The team needed you…

_ Needed _ . Maybe that was the problem. It was always  _ need. _ Even today, Sam had said he  _ needed _ you to play. Not that he  _ wanted _ you to play, but that he  _ needed _ you.

You sighed as you fell back on your bed, staring at the ceiling as if it could tell you what to do. You growled, pulled a pillow from behind your head, and pressed it over your face.

You’d been taking a lot of breaks lately. Not from missions or training, but from team outings, parties, and downtime activities; the things you weren’t  _ needed _ for. You just didn’t have the energy to spend time with your teammates anymore. They were your friends, your family, but they made you so tired. They had gotten so used to you being around to hear them out, and let them vent to you that they’d just never stopped. You didn’t think they meant anything malicious by it, but you’d become more their therapist than their teammate, friend, or sister. And you’d never gotten a say in it at all. Of course you wanted to help, but now, now you felt like you couldn’t go back to just being their friend. 

Exhausted, frustrated tears welled up in your eyes, and you struggled to keep the sobs from passing your lips as they fell.

 

_ Meanwhile, back in the common room… _

Sam had, in fact, lost to Steve, and was now sulking in the corner. Wanda and Pietro had just returned from their trip to the museum. Pietro hadn’t enjoyed the trip nearly as much as Wanda had, but he’d kept a lid on his fidgeting and anxious behaviors so she could have fun. By the time they’d returned, he was pretty high-strung and was looking for his best friend: you.

Tony, and Helen Cho, had worked to bring Pietro back just 6 months ago. With help from Vision and some of Dr. Banner’s notes, they’d succeeded in healing the bullet wounds and restarting his vital organs. Wanda hadn’t known that Tony had Pietro in cryostasis. Tony Stark, who had been blamed for the Maximoff’s deaths, and had taken that blame to heart, had sworn to himself that he wouldn’t let Wanda lose anyone else. That no matter how long it took, he’d bring her brother back to her. That was part of why he’d tried to keep her in the compound during the accords fight, he wanted her to be safe, but he’d gone about that the wrong way entirely. Luckily for everyone, it had worked out, an Pietro came back as himself, not as some weird killer zombie.

You had been at Wanda’s side the whole time. Helping her through her grief, and hope, letting her scream, cry, and share her fear that her brother may not come back as he was. But he had. Wanda had her brother back, and after 6 months. Although they both still had nightmares, they were inseparable again. Clint had gotten very close to Pietro and Wanda as well. He was like the uncle they’d never had, or wanted really. But the three of them had a very tight relationship now.

Pietro looked around the room, the smile on his face that he’d come home with, turned into a frown when he noticed your absence. You’d been the only person, aside from Bucky and Sam, who hadn’t known him before. You were the only one who didn’t seem to be watching him carefully for any signs that he may be changing into something… abnormal. You’d been his first friend. The first person he went to when he had something to share, good or bad. He looked forward to seeing you everyday, and grumped around the tower when he couldn’t. His sister teased him about his behavior; told him he had a crush on you. He didn’t deny it, but he also didn’t tell you.

“Where’s Y/N?” he asked, sitting on the couch to watch Natasha play against Tony.

“She said she was tired,” Steve explained as Tony beat Natasha and began crowing in victory.

“Yeah, too tired to help me,” Sam groused, “she knows I lose if she doesn’t play.”

“It’s a game, bird-brain,” Bucky admonished.

“Yeah, but it’s the principle, ya dick,” Sam snorted.

“Whatever dude. She’s tired, let her rest. Her life doesn’t revolve around making sure your delicate ego doesn’t get bruised,” Clint shouted from the kitchen where he was grabbing a beer.

Pietro’s eyes narrowed as he looked over his shoulder at the hallway that lead to your room.

“She’s tired a lot lately,” he muttered, looking to his sister and meeting her gaze as she nodded at him, he rose and headed for your door.

“Y/N?” someone was knocking on your door. You didn’t move to answer it though. You knew your face was red and puffy, and that there were tear tracks down your cheeks. You couldn’t muster up enough energy to care.

“Y/N, I know you’re in there. Wanda checked. If you don’t open the door, I’m coming in.” It was Pietro’s voice. You sighed before curling into a tighter ball on your bed, hugging your pillow to your chest.

“It’s not locked,” you replied quietly. The door handle turned and you looked away, knowing he’d notice your state and question you, but you didn’t have the energy to do anything other than hide.

The door closed and you felt your bed dip as Pietro sat down right in front of you.

“What’s wrong, moja láska (my love)?” His voice was quiet and he made no move to touch you, although he usually would. He didn’t know  _ how _ to approach this sad and tired looking version of the person he loved; he didn’t know what to do. 

As if your body was waiting for him to ask, your face crumpled and fresh tears began to fall; your body shaking slightly from the effort of trying to muffle your sobs.

“Oh, milovať (love),” Pietro’s face fell as he leaned forward and pulled you onto his lap, holding you to his chest and tucking your head under his chin. He still wasn’t sure how to help you, but he couldn’t  _ not _ hold you when you looked so broken.

“I just… I’m just so tired, Piet. I’m tired.  _ All the time _ .  _ Everything  _ makes me tired. I can’t even hang out with the team anymore without…” you sniffled. You didn’t want to cry anymore, your head was aching.

You told Pietro how you felt like everyone needed you, how you couldn’t miss a mission or training; they were too important. But even when it came to menial things, people said they needed you. You couldn’t take a break. You were running on fumes, and it was killing you. 

“I guess I just want to be wanted. Like I  _ know _ I’m needed; I just wish sometimes people would just  _ want _ me around. Not  _ need _ anything from me, just want my presence… it’s stupid, I know-”

“Y/N,” Pietro cut in. He hadn’t spoken a word since you started talking, but now he stopped you, “it’s not stupid to talk about what  _ you _ need and want.”

“I know, I know,” you shook your head, wiping away the remains of the tears from your face with a sleeve, “it’s just not  _ important _ .” You cleared your throat, pulled away from Pietro slightly, took a deep breath and looked up at his face.

His brow was furrowed, he could almost feel you pulling back into yourself like it was a physical action. Now he saw the constant happiness you’d been wearing for what it was: a mask. 

_ “You don’t understand,” _ he thought.  _ “You don’t understand how your words cut me. You feel necessary but unwanted. Like training? Necessary to keep your skills and conditioning up, but given the choice, you’d rather be doing almost anything else _ .” He couldn’t understand how you felt this way, and  he wanted so badly to fix it for you. But here you were, exhausted, crying, and telling him that your feelings were “stupid”.  _ “Nope, that’s not going to fly.” _

“Y/N, why don’t you tell the others? They’re your friends, they wouldn’t want you to feel like this…”

“That’s why I don’t,” you sighed, disentangling yourself from Pietro and climbing from his lap. “I don’t want to burden them. They have so many more important things to worry about; they don’t need my whiny-ness added on top.” You waked to your bathroom and splashed water on your face, bracing your hands on either side of the sink and leaning there for a minute, eyes closed.

He couldn’t believe how easily you discounted your feelings and needs. When you’d pulled away from him moments ago, it had physically hurt him to see you so closed to him. You’d never talked like this to anyone. And as much as he felt special for being the one you opened up to, it killed him to see it. He knew he needed to do something, but what? Pietro chewed his bottom lip while you stayed at your sink.

Then you took another deep breath, opened your eyes, smiled a tiny, brittle smile and said, “maybe I just need some sleep.”

“Of course, Y/N. You sleep, and I’ll tell the others you’ve taken an early night.” He stood up from your bed as you made your way back to it.

“Thank you, Pietro,” you sighed as he hugged you and pressed a kiss to the top of your head; a plan forming in his mind.

 

_ The next day… _

You woke up to the sound of someone knocking on your door. Odd… Usually the alarm woke you long before your teammates would need you. When you looked at the clock, it was several hours after the alarm should have gone off. Your eyes shot wide open and your heart raced as the knock came again. 

“Y/N?” Wanda’s voice. You jumped out of bed and shot to the door, opening it wide, an apology prepared on your lips, but that apology died quickly.

Wanda was standing outside your room in PJs with two cups of coffee and a bag of pastries. A smile on her face as she lifted her offerings.

“Breakfast in bed?” she laughed a little before motioning you back so she could enter your room. She walked over to your bed, grabbed the TV remote, and turned on Netflix before you moved.

Cautiously, you sat next to her, “What’s all this for?”

“Steve said we could all have the day off. So F.R.I.D.A.Y. turned off everyone’s alarms. And I wanted to hang out with you, so I brought bribes.” She smiled and handed you your favorite pastry.

Still skeptical, you accepted the pastry. The two of you watched _ “Friends” _ for a few hours before Natasha came in and inserted herself on your other side. The three of you planned a shopping day, and started getting dressed as soon as you finished your coffee. Both women “helped” you get dressed and do your makeup, at which point Nat became dismayed at your lack of appropriate products and declared that the makeup counter was your first stop. You rolled your eyes at their antics, but agreed to go.

The trip was really fun. You’d walked around malls, trying on the most ridiculous looking clothes, and went to Sephora and let the makeup artists play with your face. Nat and Wanda had insisted that you needed everything the artists had used, you’d balked at the price that accompanied the pile of makeup, but Nat winked at you and pulled out one of Tony’s credit cards, paying for the pile before you could stop her.

Neither of the girls complained or gossiped. You all just shared funny memories and stories, and laughed. When you got back home, you were tired, but a good tired; not emotional or mental, just physical.

Tony declared movie night, and after everyone had changed into comfy clothes, he popped in “ _ Clue _ ”, one of your favorite movies. You should have been suspicious, but you were too busy enjoying your favorite snack and teasing Sam, who was wearing Iron Man sleep pants. You’d cuddled into a corner of the sofa with Pietro on your side. Though you’d started the movie leaning against the armrest, halfway through you’d migrated over so you were curled into Pietro’s side, with his arm around your shoulder. 

When you’d fallen asleep, Pietro looked to his sister, who met his gaze, smiled and nodded; he had helped. 

Pietro had explained, at least a little of your predicament to the rest of the team. He’d told them you felt burnt out and a little unwanted. Everyone had been shocked, they hadn’t realized they’d been taking such advantage of you; you’d never expressed these feelings to them, just said you were tired.

They’d all made a conscious effort to keep positive vibes around you, not to expect you to listen to their issues, and to just enjoy their time with you while making sure you enjoyed yourself too.

Bucky had gone out early and gotten pastries from the bakery you liked. Steve had cancelled training. Wanda had made you coffee and taken it to you, Sam had found the movie you’d told him about a few weeks ago. Natasha remembered how you’d coveted a lipstick she had, and suggested a shopping trip, and Tony volunteered his credit card for you. You didn’t know it, but all of your friends had done things just for you today. They may not have been big things, but they were done just to make  _ you _ happy. Pietro smiled as he stood, picked you up, and carried you to your room.

You woke as he placed you on your bed and grabbed his arm before he could leave. 

“Thank you, Piet,” you mumbled, sleepy eyes meeting his.

“For what, miláčik (darling)?”

“Everything,” you smiled, pulling his arm so he’d come closer. He complied, climbing onto the bed and laying on his side, facing you.

“I did nothing that needs thanking,” he said quietly, brushing stray hairs out of your face gently. 

You caught the hand he’d used to move your hair and held it. Looking him in the eye, you said, “You may not think so, but I do. It means a lot to me that you came looking for me yesterday, that you listened to me.”

“Ľúbim ťa, Y/N. I will always come looking for you. I will always listen to you.(I love you)” His hand moved out of your hold to stroke your hair.

“Wanda’s been teaching me Sokovian you know,” you said after a short pause, “I wanted to surprise you.”

_ “Mission accomplished,” _ Pietro thought he had avoided confrontation by speaking in his native tongue.

“Tiež ťa milujem, Pietro. (I love you too)” You nuzzled into his chest and wrapped your arms around his waist. After less than a second, he reciprocated. Warmth spreading through his chest, not only were you happy, not only had you learned Sokovian just to surprise him, but on top of everything, you loved him back.

He pressed a kiss to the top of your head before closing his eyes, all tension leaving his body.

“Si moje slnko, Y/N. Milujem ťa toľko,(you are my sunshine Y/N, I love you so much)” he mumbled into your hair.

“You’re a sap,” you giggled, “ale aj ja ťa milujem (but I love you too).”

Pietro chuckled, and tightened his arms around you. And that’s how the two of you fell asleep that night, and would for many nights after.


End file.
